When photographer Sian Davey gave birth to her daughter Alice, she was shocked by the overwhelming fear and uncertainty that filled her at the prospect of bringing up a child with Down’s Syndrome. Over the past four years, Davey has documented her life with Alice and the development of a deep bond with her daughter in a series of photographs called “Looking for Alice”.
“My response was to pull away, and I didn't quite know what to do,” says Davey of her feelings at Alice’s birth. “I was having to address my own fear around difference. I knew that she was feeling my disconnection, and that in itself felt unbearable. In many ways it is quite a tough story. It is not a sentimental story about a child at all. First of all, it is about my response to having a child with Down’s Syndrome.”
The series does not only address Davey’s personal attempt to understand her own reaction to difference: it also serves as a commentary on how societies deals with those who have additional needs. According to Davey’s research, nearly 97 per cent of Down’s Syndrome babies are optionally terminated before birth, making it a disease that society does not often well acknowledge.
“On a heart and head level it felt almost unbearable that my child might come into the world and know that. It was my terrible fear that she might have to fight her corner in the world just to be here and to be safe to be here.”
“There are references in the pictures of Alice’s history and what I hope for and long for,” says Davey. “For example, the image ‘Before the ball’, of Alice watching her sister’s friends getting ready for the end of term ball was about my fear as a mother that Alice wont get invited.”
“And then the next photo is Alice on her own walking away – it’s my fear that Alice wont be included. There is another picture of Alice lying in a bed by herself, and that reference is to children like Alice being institutionalised. They have an extraordinarily cruel and tragic history, these children.”
The intimacy of the images is disarming: the scenes of everyday family life have a familiarity to them that work to show not how different we all are, but how similar.
“Looking for Alice” has been exhibited at The Photographers' Gallery in London and Davey is currently raising money via a Kickstarter campaign to print the series in a hardbound book. The book will include a selection of previously unseen images.
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All images © Sian Davey, from the series “Looking for Alice”
